Various stories about witty remarks.
The lord of an estate in Islay was dying and the Glasgow steamer was to wait so he could travel back with them. The skipper tactfully enquired whether his lordship would be travelling as a passenger or as freight?
One warm September day, Donald MacLean saw Willie John MacKinnon's boat, the Lochcarron, tied up at the Railway Pier in Oban. An inspector from MacBrayne's appeared, and shouted to ask Captain MacKinnon if he was aware that none of his crew were wearing uniform. He replied that he was only skipper of the tub, not Burton the tailor.
MacCallum, the mate on the King George, was asked by a Yorkshire couple if they could take their dog aboard the boat. He said yes, but they didn't provide lamp posts.
Donald MacLean was working as a bus conductor in Dunoon. Donald MacLennan was the bus driver. One Friday night, they got drunk after work, but nevertheless agreed to take a bus to a dance at Benmore Forestry School, since there was nobody else. Donald's driving was erratic, and he cut a tight corner, forcing an oncoming motorcyclist off the road into a tall hedge. The motorcyclist accused him of being a roadhog, and Donald immediately responded by calling him a hedgehog.
Donald MacLean thinks that he has heard the remark before as the punchline of some joke, but he and Hamish Henderson agree that this sounds like a spontaneous remark.
Neach/Cuspair a' Chlàir
MacLennan, Donald, Dunoon bus driver; MacKinnon, Capt. Willie John